Canada's Relay Team

Canadian relay swim team wins silver at aquatic worlds.
(CBC WebPosted)

Canada's 4x100-metre freestyle relay team won a silver medal Sunday at the world aquatic championships in Montreal, while Brittany Reimer barely missed the podium.

Yannick Lupien of Laval, Que., Rick Say of Victoria, and Mike Mintenko and Brent Hayden of Vancouver finished the race in three minutes 16.44 seconds. The United States won the event in 3:13.77 with Australia finishing third in 3:17.56. "Some of the other countries didn't bring their big guns so we knew we had a really good chance to take some of them down and we did tonight," said Mintenko.

The medal was Canada's first since the world championships in 1998. The Canadain team walked onto the pool deck donning Montreal Canadiens jerseys to the delight of the hometown crowd. "Because this is Montreal, how many people have had the Canadiens as their favourite team?" said Lupien, who wore No. 10 in honour of Montreal legend Guy Lafleur. "Guy Lafleur is a lot like me. He speaks up loud and makes waves."

Sunday's silver brought some measure of redemption for Say, who went through the frustration of Canada not winning a medal at the 2004 Athens Olympics. "I was just sitting there waiting for somebody to say these results are official," said Say. "It was almost unreal that we had come and won a silver medal at the worlds." Say also thinks Canada's swimming program has a bright future despite the criticism. "It's great to have these hanging around our neck," he said. "We came back from the Olympics with the media saying things aren't very good, we're not winning medals. This was really important to us. This shows swimming is going in the right direction."

The Canadians broke their own national record they set during the morning preliminaries.

On the women's side, Canadian swimmer Brittany Reimer won a bronze medal Tuesday evening in the women's 1,500-metre freestyle. Reimer, from Surrey, B.C., broke her own Canadian record by finishing third behind American Kate Ziegler and Flavia Rigamonti of Switzerland in a time of 16 minutes 7.37 seconds.

It marked Canada's first medal by a female swimmer at the worlds since 1986, when Alison Higson won a bronze in the 200-metre breaststroke. "I've worked my butt off for this," Reimer said. "I had a bad year last year, (so) I'm just happy I could get up there and go for it this year. "Everybody has a time. Luckily, I'm right on, right now."

Cora Campbell (CP)

CAPTAINS LEAD CHARGE; WOMEN’S WATER POLO TEAM WANTS TO GO OUT ON TOP.
The Toronto Sun

Ann Dow and Cora Campbell, the co-captains of the Canadian women’s water polo team, are eager to end on a high note.

The two have been teammates on the national squad for 14 years and have watched the program develop from its embryonic stage. They considered retirement after Canada’s disappointing seventh-place finish at last summer’s Olympics in Athens, but the lure of competing at the world aquatic championships on home turf was too strong.

“It’s an opportunity to end our careers in Montreal, in front of our family, friends, everyone that has been in the shadows for so long,” said Dow, 34, a native of Montreal. “It’s good to be able to have a chance to thank them for being there and being in the shadows. “They’re the ones who made it possible for us to keep going.”

With Canada’s heart-stopping 8-6 overtime win over Greece in the quarter-finals on Monday, Dow and Campbell have an opportunity to leave the game they have devoted their lives to as champions if Canada can beat Hungary in its today’s semi-final and then win gold in the Friday final. “It would be extreme joy, 14 years in the making,” said Campbell, 31, who grew up in the Montreal region and who has lived in Calgary since 1994.

Competing in such a world-class event as one of the top teams is a far cry from where the program was when Dow and Campbell got their starts. Dow joined the program in 1991 with current teammate Johanne Begin of Ste-Foy, Que. Campbell followed a year later, and the trio was part of only a handful of Canadian women who played the sport. That’s no longer the case.

“When we first started on the team, we paid to play, and we didn’t get any money – zero,” Campbell said. “There was no carding for women’s water polo back then. “Now we have 30 carded athletes, so many girls playing in the NCAA, people playing professional. It’s grown an unbelievable amount in 14 years.”

Campbell says that, with the amount of talented women waiting for their chance to crack the national team, the women’s program should be in a position to win championships for years to come. “Previously, everyone knew who the 13 players were on the team,” Campbell said. “It was easy to select the top 13 in Canada, and it was even hard to get that 12th or 13th player to be of top quality. “Now the girls are fighting for those spots. They had to make some tough selections for this team.”

With all the national teams she has been a part of, Dow is convinced this year’s edition is one of the strongest. Though the young stars on the team – most notably goaltender Rachel Riddell of Vancouver, Krystina Alogbo of Montreal and Susan Gardiner of North Vancouver – have been impressive thus far, it has been Dow and Campbell who have led the Canadian charge through the tournament.

Despatie leads Canada to best showing ever at world aquatic championships.
The Western Star (Corner Brook)

Canadian divers had their best world championships ever - three gold medals and one bronze - and banged a small dent in Chinese dominance of the sport.

Alexandre Despatie of Laval, Que., was the star, winning gold in the one-metre and three-metre springboard events before full houses of adoring hometown fans.

Blythe Hartley of North Vancouver added gold on the women's one- metre board and a surprise bronze came in synchronized diving from teenagers Meaghan Benfeito of Montreal and Roseline Filion of Laval. "Hopefully, with the results Canada is having at these worlds, it motivates kids not necessarily to get into diving, but to get into sports," said Despatie, 20. "You see how good it is to compete, to have fun, to do well in front of a home crowd. "Maybe it will motivate kids to go out and do something."

Canada's previous best was three medals at the 2003 world championships in Barcelona.

Eight days of diving competition ended Sunday with Jingjing Guo and Ting Li of China winning the women's three-metre synchronized diving competition. Guo had won the three-metre individual event on Friday and has won both events at three straight world championships and the 2004 Olympics.

Martha Dale of Edmonton and Thunder Bay, Ont. native Mandy Moran were seventh.

Russia's Dmitry Dobroskok and Gleb Galperin won the men's 10-metre synchro event, while Peter Waterfield and Leon Taylor gave Britain its first ever world championship medal, a bronze. Wegadesk Gorup- Paul and Riley McCormick of Victoria finished 11th.

As has been the case in the last 12 years, the Chinese took the lion's share of medals - 12 in all, including five gold - matching their medal haul in 2003. China took at least one medal in all 10 diving events. But their domination was not complete.

At the 2004 Olympics in Athens, China won six of eight gold medals and it has won 19 of 28 golds over the last three Olympics.

Aside from the Canadians and Russian synchro pair, Laura Wilkinson of the United States took gold on the women's 10-metre tower, the event that saw defending champion Emilie Heymans of St-Lambert, Que., crash to fourth place.

"I don't think the Chinese were as unbeatable here," said Annie Pelletier, a diving bronze medallist at the 1996 Olympics who worked on the French television broadcasts. "I don't know if it was because it was an outdoor competition, but they didn't seem as consistent or as focused as before.

"And I've seen them way more fit than they were here. Is it because they're feeling more and more pressure? Are the coaches pushing them not to win, but to not lose? There's a difference. It seems they have way more pressure and I wonder if they can handle that."

The Chinese, whose stated goal at the championships was to begin building a team for the 2008 Olympics in Beijing, had a mix of very young divers - including 14-year-olds Tong Jia and Pei Lin Yuan in synchronized diving - and veterans.

China has a massive diving program in which young children are identified for talent and placed in national training centres to develop, a system that would be impossible to implement in a modern democracy. But Canada showed their armour can be pierced, at least in some events.

Mike Brown (CP)

Confident Canuck Brown 'ready to race'; World aquatic championships Swimmer country's top medal hope World aquatic championships.
The Toronto Star

If Mike Brown were to list things that he is not, it would be lengthy Worried. Tired. Alex Baumann, Victor Davis. Negative. Pressured. And if he were to list the things that he is, maybe it would be simply confident. And hopeful.

Brown, 21, is probably Canada's best hope for a swimming medal at these world championships, but he's not sure that makes him a team leader. And he very quickly refuses to place himself in the same category as Davis and Baumann. "I don't think you can put me in the same stage as those guys just yet," Brown said. "Hopefully, by the time my career is over I'll be in that company.

"In terms of leader of the team? I don't know if I'm comfortable saying that. I just compete as hard as I can for my country, give as much as I can when I hit the water."

Brown and the rest of the Canadian team hit that water today as the swimming portion of this competition begins. His first event is the 100-metre breaststroke, but his best hope is in the 200-metre race, in which he holds the Canadian record of 2 11.94.

Brown placed sixth at the Athens Olympics at that distance and it was there that he broke the record - and then broke it twice more - a goal he's set for himself again at this meet. "Personally, I'm very excited for my swims. I've been feeling great in the water and I'm ready to race," Brown said. "I've just been playing the waiting game - I've been ready to go for the past couple of days and I've got to sit down and relax and wait for my races to come to me."

Swim fans have been waiting patiently through the first week of these championships, as diving - and the strong Canadian performance - was the main focus. Now, swimming takes over as the marquee event, and though the Americans and Australians are heavily favoured, the Canadian team will be looking to improve after a dismal performance in Athens.

"The focus is to do personal bests and keep surging forward with our times and it'll happen, but obviously it doesn't happen overnight," Brown said. "It starts here. This is the first meet after last year's Olympics and obviously nothing is going to change overnight. To change a national organization around to become the best in the world, that takes time. But this is the first stepping stone."

Noah Miller (CP)

Canadian men’s water polo team finish 2005 World Aquatic Championships on a high note.
(CSN)

MONTREAL-The Canadian men’s water polo team rallied from a 6-3 first half deficit on Tuesday morning to defeat Japan 10-8 and concluded the tournament at the 2005 World Aquatic Championships in 13th place.

Kevin Mitchell and Ian Lark, both of Vancouver, scored three goals apiece with singles to Kevin Graham and Noah Miller, both of Regina, Dan Stein of Vancouver and Nathaniel Miller of Dollard-des-Ormeaux, Que.. Goaltender Nic Youngblud of Hamilton played well in particular in the second half as Canada smothered the Japanese offence.

“We just stuck to our game plan and kept going,” said Mitchell, Canada’s top scorer in the tournament with eight goals. “We’ve had our fair share of disappointments here but we rebounded these last two games. We showed a lot of character in this tournament and today our teamwork was in evidence.”

The Canadians, fielding a young rebuilding team for the tournament, went winless in their three round robin games and were relegated to the consolation round. They defeated China 11-5 on Sunday before edging the Japanese. Prior to the worlds, they played 13 games against the sport’s superpowers in World League action.

“Water polo is the kind of game you just have to keep working and your opportunities will come,” said Lark. “It’s incredibly important to finish the tournament this way. We definitely had something to prove. We’ve been playing for two straight months both here and in the World League against the best teams in the world and we’ve greatly improved over that period.”

Canadian head coach Dragan Jovanovic of Calgary said his troops didn’t play to their full potential in Montreal but he is excited about the future. Canada was 14th at the 2003 worlds but this world team had three junior-aged players – Graham,18, and Brandon Jung and Clem Hui, both of Vancouver and both 19, and only two players over 25- Nathaniel Miller, 26 and goaltender Alexandre Thibeault, 32.

The ultimate objective is to qualify for the 2008 Olympics in Beijing.

“We’re on the right path to succeed,” said Jovanovic. “But to be honest this tournament we weren’t at our best. I’ve seen this team play much, much better in the World League. What happened is the guys were pretty nervous and felt pressure playing at home in front of 2,000 people every second night. It was just a totally new experience for them. They wanted so much to be the best but right now that’s impossible.”

Jovanovic says the core of the team will stay intact for the next year and now the main objectives are to get strong results at the Commonwealth Championships in 2006 and the 2007 Pan Am Games which will be an Olympic qualifier.

The Canadian women meanwhile are currently preparing for their semifinal against Hungary on Wednesday night at 8:15 p.m. at parc-Jean-Drapeau

Calgary’s Jarrod Ballem posts Canada’s best ever finish in a men’s 10 kilometre open water swimming at World Aquatic Championships.
(CSN)

MONTREAL- Jarrod Ballem of Calgary likely ended his open water swimming career Wednesday by posting Canada’s best ever result in a men’s 10 kilometre at a World Aquatics Championships with an 11th place finish.

Eighteen-year-old Chip Peterson, second in Sunday’s five kilometre, made an attack early on the final length and sailed to the gold medal in one hour and 46 minutes and 38.1 seconds, more than four minutes faster than the winning time two years ago at the Barcelona worlds.

Thomas Lurz of Germany, the heavy favourite for a second gold this week, was second in 1:46:45.2 and Petar Stoychev of Russia third in 1:46:50.4. The racers did four 2.5 kilometre laps around the rowing basin built for the 1976 Olympics.

Ballem and Elliot Rushton of Surrey, B.C., stayed with the lead pack until Peterson’s attack caused the group to disperse. They finished 11th and 16th respectively.

“That was probably my last open water race,” said Ballem, 27, also 11th on Sunday in the five kilometre. “The training is starting to take its toll. I’m pretty honoured to go out with the best result and hopefully Elliot can improve on that soon. Open water is still a small sport in Canada but this event here is going to give it a lot of exposure.”

Ballem was slightly disappointed with his final result. The fast pace took its toll.

“It was more of a mental battle than physical,” said Ballem, 18th in the event at the 2003 Worlds. “You spend so much of the race trying to keep calm and conserve energy. And today it was incredibly fast. I couldn’t believe the speed in the final two kilometres. It was as fast as at the beginning of the race.”

Rushton, 21, completed his first world championships and learned some valuable lessons.

“I’ll take away a lot of experience from here which should help me in the future,” said Rushton. “What stood out for me the most was the pack dynamics. I wasn’t use to the close quarters and being jostled around so much.”

In the women’s 10 kilometre race, Dutch racing legend Edith Van Djik grabbed the lead halfway down the final length to win the gold medal in one hour and 56.00.5 minutes. Federica Vitale of Italy, who held the lead from just past the halfway point until caught by Van Djik, was second in 1:56:02.5. Britta Kamrau of Germany was third in 1:56:04.0.

Karley Stutzel of Victoria was in the thick of the battle for three quarters of the way but struggled on the final lap and finished 15th in 1:57:29.

“It just wasn’t my day,” said Stutzel, 14th in the five kilometre on Sunday. “As I expected, the girls set a very past pace and I had a great start but I didn’t feel to well at the end. I was expecting a much better result than that. Usually as the distances get longer I get better.”

Stutzel will now prepare for the 25 kilometres on Friday, one of a handful of swimmers to do all three open water events.

Ron Jacks of Victoria, the Canadian open water swimming coach was pleased with Canada’s showing.

“This is the first time we’ve had an open water swimming event at worlds in this kind of facility and it makes it a totally different race,” said Jacks. “I was really pleased with the efforts by the Canadians in both races. A top-12 result is an exceptional result for us against this field and we got one 11th and the other two were close.”

The women’s 25 kilometre race is on Friday and the men’s 25 kilometre which concludes open water swimming here is on Saturday.

NHL booked for 2006, 2010 Olympics but needs to ratify new deal with IIHF.
CP Wire

NEW YORK (CP) _ The NHL booked not one but two trips to the Olympics in the new collective bargaining agreement although it's not quite 100 per cent official.

An agreement with the International Ice Hockey Federation remains to be signed, a deal that covers not only the Olympics but also the world championship and transfer payments. Commissioner Gary Bettman revealed talks with the IIHF have all but produced a deal.

``We are, at least in principal, at a new agreement,'' Bettman said Friday during his ``re-launch'' news conference. ``The issue is the Players' Association has to sign off on some aspects of going to the Olympics but they need to do it quickly because we can't release the schedule until we know whether or not we're going to the Olympics. ``And the reason we can't release the schedule is that it's obviously different depending whether or not there is a two-week break.''

NHLPA senior director Ted Saskin said talks are ongoing with the IIHF. ``We had a preliminary discussion with the IIHF earlier this week and expect to have a follow-up discussion with them on Monday,'' Saskin said from Toronto.

The league hopes to release the 2005-06 schedule on Wednesday but it won't if the NHLPA isn't done with the IIHF.

But expect a deal to get ratified, given that it was the NHLPA who pushed hard to get Olympic participation part of the new CBA. Playing in the 2010 Vancouver Games was always a no-brainer because of the proximity, but Bettman had said repeatedly that he didn't want to take a two-week break for Turin next February a year after losing an entire season to the lockout.

His deal with the IIHF also apparently has solved the transfer payments issues with the Russian Federation although that remains to be seen. Russian clubs have threatened not to release players such as Evgeni Malkin if they didn't get extra cash from NHL clubs.

``From our standpoint, at the league level, subject to dotting the I's and crossing the T's, we believe we have an agreement _ particularly as it relates to transfers _ ready to go,'' Bettman said.

IIHF president Rene Fasel, as one might expect, was thrilled to hear NHL hockey was coming back to the Games after the success of the 1998 and 2002 Olympics.

``We have before us a magnificent opportunity to showcase our sport and our most skilled players in front of a projected Olympic TV audience of 2.3 billion sports fans in more than 160 countries and territories as they will amass around 13.5 billion viewer hours during the XX Olympic Winter Games in Turin,'' Fasel said in a statement.

``Only the Olympic games can provide a sport with a global impact of this magnitude. Every hockey person involved in Turin 2006 should now have it as the goal to make our game the prime winner at the Olympics.

``As Olympic participation is now a part of the new CBA, the IIHF, together with the International Olympic Committee, the hockey associations of the participating nations and their national Olympic committees, must together with the NHL and NHLPA address some of the practical and logistical issues connected with Olympic participation for Turin. It is our objective to reach an agreement as soon as possible.''

Defending Olympic champion Canada, again under the leadership of executive director Wayne Gretzky, begins preparations for the Games at an Aug. 14-20 training camp in Vancouver and Kelowna, B.C.

Excitement builds among 2010 Olympic hopefuls as they check out venues.
(By WILLIAM MBAHO Globe and Mail)

VANCOUVER -- Canadian hopefuls and organizers for the 2010 Olympic Winter Games are confident of glory after the first official site visit to the Vancouver and Whistler Olympic venues yesterday.

Athletes from the Canadian bobsleigh, skeleton and aerial-freestyle skiing teams spent three days with a delegation from the Canadian Olympic Committee inspecting the proposed venue designs and event plans.

The Canadian athletes came to British Columbia to inspect the proposed Olympic venues with COC delegates and staff from the Vancouver Organizing Committee for the 2010 Olympic and Paralympic Games, as part of a Canadian program begun in January called "Own the Podium - 2010." The program's goal is for Canada to get at least 35 medals, COC chief executive Chris Rudge said.

"It was very exciting for me to see where the bobsleigh, skeleton and luge track is being built in Whistler on Monday," skeleton competitor Lindsay Alcock said. "It was good to see the whole plan and the initial construction under way . . . the site where the refrigeration plant will go and knowing what the access road will be like."

Ms. Alcock, 27, a 2002 Olympian and 2004 World Cup champion from Calgary, said the skeleton track in Whistler has been designed to be technical for the athlete drivers and fast enough to keep the course thrilling. "Speed is what we love in our sport of skeleton, especially when we're going head first," Ms. Alcock said.

"We will need lots of time to prepare . . . it's going to be crucial to have the facility ready for us by 2008, to make as many runs down the track as possible, and to make Whistler home during the winter time."

Ms. Alcock said the preparation time required for Canadian skeleton athletes was based on the U.S. model used in the Salt Lake City Olympic Winter Games in 2002 to win three medals.

Deidra Dionne, 23, a 2002 Olympic bronze-medalist in aerial-freestyle skiing from Red Deer, Alta., said that 2010 Vancouver organizers had assured her that trees shading the proposed aerial ski-jump landing area on Cypress Mountain would be cleared several years before the event.

"It was also important for me to feel the wind direction and get a sense of the sunlight conditions there," Ms. Dionne said. "I can now go home to my team and tell them to prepare for a crosswind going from right to left, and to train our sight -- aware that the sun shines from the sides where the landing area isn't shaded," she said.

Mark Lowry, COC sport director, said the delegation spent the past few days learning how to set up centres of support in Whistler and Vancouver to help the Canadian athletes win in an incredibly tough environment.

There are 13 winter sports included in the Olympic Winter Games, with 85 countries currently in competition, Mr. Lowry said. "To win medals, our athletes have to feel like they are supported and are a part of the community," he added.

John Furlong, VANOC chief executive, said that Canadians expect the games' organizers to ensure success by supporting athletes and delivering projects on time. He said that 46 medal competitions are scheduled for Whistler, in addition to the 2010 Paralympic Games, and that 38 medal competitions are planned for Vancouver.

The next official COC site inspection will be held in 2006, officials said.

Diving into athletes' minds.
(Dave Stubbs - The Gazette)

Psychologist Bruno Ouellette helps world champ Alexandre Despatie and his teammates use their heads to harness pool potential.

The physical strength of Laval diver Alexandre Despatie is apparent with every springboard-bending hurdle, every tightly curled somersault, every high-speed twist. His power was clear on each of his 17 dives on Tuesday, a day-long effort that yielded a historic world's-best 3-metre points total and a stunning world championship gold medal.

But it was much more than muscle that carried Despatie to his second world title in two years. It was his resolute focus, a steely stare at the ultimate goal.
Despatie won when his mind harnessed his strength and allowed his body to reach its potential.

Diving under the weight of a country's expectations, the pressure of a flag-waving hometown capacity crowd bearing down on him, the 20-year-old had every reason to fail. "Yes," said diving team psychologist Bruno Ouellette, an honours student at Glass Half Full University. "But he also had every opportunity to succeed."

Ouellette has worked in high-performance sport going on two decades and almost three years with the elite CAMO squad of coach Michel Larouche, Canada's best diving club and one that would be ranked among the top five nations in the world.

The 41-year-old native of St. Jean sur Richelieu has served as a guidance counsellor, sounding board, quiet cheerleader, even a sympathetic ear for Larouche and his team.

He sat on the pool deck yesterday, Despatie practising for today's one-metre event, and spoke of the months of mental preparation, a virtual yellow brick road that's led to this land of awe. "We've talked about the energy of the (home) crowd and how to use it," Ouellette said. "We've seen it since Sunday, starting with the kids (10-metre synchronized bronze medallists Meaghan Benfeito and Roseline Filion). "To be cheered so loud creates an emotional reaction that's a total body experience. We're not in this situation too often."

Ouellette has been pleased, even proud, to see the divers making mental adjustments to this stimulus overload, riding an emotional rollercoaster from preliminaries through finals, and semifinal rounds for Despatie and Emilie Heymans, who yesterday missed a platform medal with two weak dives. "Throughout the entire day, Alex was in control of his head," Ouellette said. "There were a lot of things going on, and he wasn't always 100-per-cent confident, far from it. "It was an ongoing process that went on for eight hours, from 10 o'clock until he became world champion at 6 p.m. That's a heck of a performance, needing to 'be there' for eight hours."

A 100.80-point effort on the final-session reverse 31/2, rescued after a shabby takeoff, reinforced Ouellette's belief that Despatie was supremely dialled in. The dive had been decidedly subpar in the preliminaries as well, and was poor in Athens. "You have to understand the process of how fear develops," he said. "When you miss something a few times in big events, then you have memories that come back that you have no control over. You must deal with powerful doubts. "At times, Alex has been able to do that, and he was here."

Ouellette is spread like sunscreen at this meet, also working with the synchronized swim team, CAMO swimmer Audrey Lacroix, and leaving the island to spend time with most of Canada's short-track speed skaters, whose Turin Olympic winter Games trials are only weeks away.

The CAMO program leaves not even the tiniest detail unattended. At the elite level, Larouche does everything to give his athletes the best opportunity to succeed, and Ouellette is a key ingredient.

With Despatie, who is mature beyond his years, it's all about focus. The turning point came when injury prompted a decision to abandon 10 metres this summer, and forgo defending his world championship, in favour of the springboard. "By making this decision, Alex gained a sense of control," Ouellette said. "I think that, mentally, he said: 'I'm diving because of me, because I like it. If I focus on making myself happy, then people will also get to see me at my best.' "

If Despatie went through a post-Olympic "depression" during the fallow months after Athens, Ouellette wasn't using the word. "That word came from other people, not us," he said, not bringing himself to utter it. "It's a spectacular word with a guy like Alex, but there's no way I'd mention it. "The post-Olympic year is a total lifestyle change, going from a jetset life, travelling all around the world, to sitting for eight months, just training, going nowhere. Alex competes. This is what he does. What he's always done."

Ouellette credits much of CAMO's success to the caring of Larouche, who sees people first and athletes second. Their conversation is not clinical, but much more a sharing of observations, information and simple things like "how's it going?"

Ouellette's best work is when he's invisible, or nearly so, as it was Tuesday with Despatie - a handshake after the semifinal, a wave following the medal ceremony.

But yesterday morning, psychologist and diver sat for 40 minutes and talked. "Alex gave me an education," Ouellette said. "He told me how his day went, and I learned a lot. One day, I can use his words and his ideas to help him. I'm a memory for an athlete. I follow the competition to store a sentence, images, a situation, so when they need it, I can remind them. "He often thanks the people around him, but today, I thank him. There are things Alex said this morning, things that made such an impact on me, that I'll never forget."

Curious about Canada.
The Review (Niagara Falls)

The countdown is on - only 1,700 days until the torch is lit for the 2010 Olympic Winter Games in Vancouver and the games begin. You can almost hear the pee hitting the bottom of the bottle already.

Recently, the Vancouver Olympic Committee revealed ILANAAQ, the emblem of the games, a five-piece stone inukshuk, or native guidepost. At first glance, it looks like an obese Pacman with its head on backwards. But no, it's "... an eternal expression of hospitality of a nation that warmly welcomes the people of the world with open arms."

However, before these visitors set foot in Vancouver, they're asking an awful lot of questions. The following inquiries were posted on an international tourism website, so they must be true. The answers, to the best of my recollection, are mine.

Question: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do plants grow? (United Kingdom)
Answer: With the average annual temperature of -78 C Greenwich Mean, Really Mean, Temperature, all plants, trees and vegetables in Canada are fabricated from semi-edible plastic. Weeding the garden is a breeze, but malnutrition has become a bit of a problem.

Question: Which direction is North in Canada? (U.S.A.)
Answer: Oddly enough, North points in the same direction in Canada as it does in the United States. I say "oddly" because in your country, South points in an entirely different direction. (Your last name is not McNally, is it?)

Question: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (United Kingdom)
Answer: That depends. Let's say you're coming by plane and your first name is Osama - we recommend you hide the cutlery in your carry-on bag. By the way, we're hoping that by 2010, our technology will allow us to manufacture cutlery right here in Canada. Failing that, the Chinese delegation has agreed to bring enough chopsticks for everybody.

Question: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
Answer: Absolutely and remember the words of our new national anthem: "Hooray, hooray it's the first of May. Outdoor running around in the bushes starts today!" (And Mats, good luck this season!)

Question: Will I be able to see polar bears in the street? (U.S.A.)
Answer: Yes. The poor polar bears dance for money and get their pictures taken with tourists up and down Robson Street. The rich ones live in Victoria.

Question: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
Answer: Canada's commerce operates on the division of goods and services principle. This means the supermarkets are indeed located in Toronto, but the grocery carts are in located in Hamilton. (What's milk?)

Question: It is imperative I find the names of places to contact for a stuffed beaver. (Italy)
Answer: Would not touch this one with a gondolier's pole. Please contact, Beaver Cleaver c/o Jerry Mathers, The Screen Actors Guild, Box 100, Hollywood, Calif.

Question: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (U.S.A.)
Answer: Only if you're going to Prince Edward Island. Enacted in 1967, the Canadian Official Languages Act now requires us all to speak American. Wasssssup Bro?

Question: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (U.S.A.)
Answer: His name was Bobby. Unfortunately in an episode of Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom gone horribly wrong, (Moose on the Loose) a drunken Marlin Perkins shot him to death when he mistook Bobby for his longtime lover and not-so-faithful sidekick, Jim. Bobby was stuffed and today he is a couch in the lobby of The Royal York Hotel in Toronto.